Website of the week

A new feature to this section, we aim to add our favourite website of the week. Most of them will be poetry biased, but expect anything and everything...so, if you know of a website that deserves a little more attention then either post the details below or email us at SHORTFUSE.


SHORTFUSE's favourite this week is Get a Google Poem by Leevi Lehto. The site allows you to enter a phrase and then searches Google.com, transforming the results into a poem. The site also produces Sonnets, Couplets, Pantoums and Sestinas. So forget writers block, produce some outstanding poetry, go to your nearest poetry open mic night and gush about your agony of reconciling the poetic with the everyday...


agony of reconciling the poetic with the everyday


Compiled 9/1/2003  10:46:57 AM GMT





"The Poetic Son", painless,
in almost clinical detail a process

Author's Last Login: 3 hours ago
Author's Last Login: 3 hours ago

Oh, agony of Poetic Forms sometimes!
Fire when -cock vaginal muscles

tear your newspaper air my concern
above meaning, this heavenly horn



poetic associations of an object or
natural world, and his feeling for

the artist who had walked through a long
much poetic neither fix'd doing

nor from the torn pages rending
the dark afternoon. Description: brief.

Reserve? - I won't fear. I wait
musings on preparing the spirit

the poetic Frenchman, won here two
lies - The Abyss ~ rewritten by you.

The healing cooperative, offers probable
Death - Buy new: $13.98 or the usual.


 
3.9.03 11:52


Pretty Vacant by Tim Wells


Pretty Vacant

Because they hadn’t died before they got old, the Sex Pistols reformed.


My mate and I got free tickets ‘cos his mate worked on the college radio station.


The pub was packed but we held our hour and sank our share. So much so that when the punks left, us drunks stayed.


We planned to get a cab, but ended up getting more beer. There are times when effort can ruin destiny.


In fact, by the time we got there the band were half way through their set. The security decided we were too drunk to go in. Punk fuckin’ rock.


We weren’t too bothered seeing the geezers go through their routine, so we headed back to the Rose and Thorn to get back to ours.


Not long after, the doors burst in and the punks came staggering through. "Where were you?" they slurred through their sneers.


My mate looked at me and I tipped him the wink. "We thought it was more punk not to go."


Oh yeah, we were the coolest fuckers there, and like all true coolness through the fashion parade of time - a fucking lie.


Tim Wells


(Tim Wells is the editor of London's finest poetry zine Rising, a zine that is 'tough on poetry, tough on the causes of poetry' and printed on paper so you can read it on the toilet. The web based Rising poetry gossip site can be found on Yahoo! Groups as boogiechillun)


 
3.9.03 16:33


Excerpts from the latest issue of RISING

Hot off the photocopier next week, the new issue of RISING looks, as always, like a good un, top quality writing from top quality witers that doesn't cost you anything...it's got to make you wonder what organisations with Arts Funding actually do with the money...


...and so SHORTFUSE brings you excerpts just to quench your poetry thirst...the first is Tim Well's review of the poetry goings on @ the Edinburgh Festival, and the second are a couple of poems by RISING regular Tod Moore...


Twinkle Twinkle… Edinburgh Festival 2003 


by Tim Wells 

The last few years has seen more and more poetry making its way to the Edinburgh Fringe. This year saw more than ever and some of it was even worth seeing. The London venues were well represented, as were boy band out of towners Aisle 16 and a fair smattering of Scottish talent.


The biggest show was the USAs Def Poetry Jam, although why this wasn’t called Def Poetry Jelly remains unanswered despite us asking many of their promotions people. Whilst the Deffers had the publicity their show still revolved around middle-class American liberalism and the victim culture that US academia pushes. Little of this is relevant to us. The show was the uninspired tosh that you’d expect on a pony ‘all-inclusive’ septic TV show with ‘kewl’ teenagers screened on a Saturday morning. What’s wrong with ‘The Flashing Blade’ say I?


Big Word has moved to Scotland in the past couple of years. The audience was doubly lucky as Big Word’s martinet, Jem Rolls, was in Canada throughout their Festival shows. This left us with the top drawer Rob Gee running things. A fine job he did too. Rob is a dynamic performer with engaging poems. All this in a poetry show, what is he thinking off? Big Word also showcased Glasgow poet Jenny Lindsay (featured in this issue) who was well worth the trip from London. Jenny is one of those poets that make all those tedious sittings through poetry readings and open mikes worthwhile, once in a while a poet really shines and manna falls. Jenny is still a slip of a thing and hopefully she’ll be reading around the country. In our last issue Tim Turnbull commented that the Scottish poets ‘have this strange idea that poetry should be entertaining.’ Jenny lays this down in spades. Big Word also showcased Australia’s Tug Dumbly who kept the cocktail Big Word was mixing a strong one with a dirty name.


Tim Turnbull read with Express Excess for the opening week and was as inspired as ever. Tim now lives in Scotland and London is sorely missing him. Tim was his usual dour self, all prickled with humour. Mark Gwynne Jones also read, the last couple of years have seen Mark develop phenomenally as a writer and performer. If Keats wrote the script, someone slipped the cast of Emmerdale acid and the result was filmed then you’d be getting close. Francesca Beard was third poet in the Ex Ex line up. Her work has been getting to more of a discussion over the last year. This pulls an audience in and Francesca then takes the resulting thoughts on a spiralling journey to wherever they may end up. Francesca opened by asking everyone there a question. This was too much for one genteel soul, when asked if she’d ever pissed in the ocean, she stormed out shouting ‘None of your blooming business!’ Now that’s what we want in poetry! Honest emotion, poetry slammers take note. Paul Lyalls replaced Turnbull for the remaining weeks and was his usual pineapple self, spiky but sweet.


Jude Simpson was also reading, but sadly this was just a bunch of words that made the shape of a poem. Twee simperings sadly do a poem make, but not one we’ll give any respect to here. Tut Tut Miss Simpson, indeed. Her strangely proportioned picture on her flier made for much merriment however.


Despite their massive amount of funding Apples and Snakes decided not to showcase poetry at Britain’s largest arts festival, again, whilst Shortfuse managed to do 2 shows. Nathan Penlington found the rhymes in poetry and debauchery both on and off stage. Bette O’Callaghan did all those things she does, and Dean Wilson explored the anatomy of the Festival more than most. They did a week in a lift. This was an actual lift set up in the Pleasance Courtyard. Sadly it didn’t go up and down, but a dozen people were trapped in there with the 3 poets for a whole half an hour. Too close for comfort for some, not close enough for Nathan.


Whilst the Festival remains Planet of the Apes for drama students, comedy is losing it’s dead mans grasp and it’s good to see poetry there, so much of it good too! The papers still don’t know how to feature it. All too often poetry ends up in the comedy section for want of pigeonhole. It’s this simple, the difference between comedy and poetry is that we’re all going to die.


 







sonny & i


waited til the


railroad dick


got close to


the high


weeds before


we cut loose


w/a quick


rock barrage


that caught


the fucker


w/2 in the


head even


w/dirt in his


eyes he had


his gun out


& put 3 past


my face


when i look


over & sonny


is whipping


his cock


like he’s a


real pisto


lero yells


hey mofo


try shooting


this then


we’re roll


ing under a


slow moving


freight


(tod moore)


 







jake stopped


walking &


leaned on a


parking meter


when he got


to the blue


neon that


read cold


beer he was


breathing


hard & try


ing not to


fall down


the neon


was making


the holes


in his stones


shirt dark


he tried


hailing a


cab but


cdn’t lift


his right


arm it was


just another


piece of


meat w/some


bone inside


then blood


was coming


out of mick


jaggers tongue


(tod moore)
4.9.03 10:53


New season @ SHORTFUSE

The new season @ SHORTFUSE begins on Thursday 18th September with our renowned weekly fusion of performance comedy, stand up poetry and music. We have got some great nights lined up, and below is a brief outline of what you can expect over the 1st five weeks:


18/9/03
Rachael Pantechnikon, Leon Hawkins, Deborah Lampitt & Tobias Fortnight


25/9/03
Tracy Maylath, Roxanne Eschoballes & extended set from Bette O'Callaghan


2/10/03
Paul Lyalls, Joe Cairo, David Bush & 1st part of a two week series of extended sets from Rob Newman with comedy and extracts from his latest book "The Fountain At The Centre Of The World".


9/10/03
Luke Wright, Tom Sutton, David Bush & 2nd part of a two week series of extended set from Rob Newman with comedy and extracts from his latest book "The Fountain At The Centre Of The World".


16/10/03
Baden Prince Junior, Deryl Walsh & extended set from original lounge jazz trio Hummello


Resident ever svelte host: Nathan Penlington


Turning the discs of groove: David Bush


Every Thursday @ The Camden Head, Camden Passage, Islington, London N1
Tube: Angel (Northern Line)
Doors:  8.30 pm  Show  9.00pm
Admission: £ 5 waged/£ 3 concessions

4.9.03 11:29


Website of the week #2

The Poetry Library has launched its online archive of poetry magazines at poetrymagazines.org.uk



The magazines represented cover the wide spectrum of British poetry from the last forty odd years. Currently the site features: Ambit, Blithe Spirit, Borderlines, Brando's hat, Dream Catcher, Fabric, Fire, Magma, Oasis, Obsessed with pipework, Orbis, Painted, spoken, Poetry Nation, Shearsman, Smiths Knoll, The Coffee House, The Frogmore Papers, The Interpreter's House, The London Magazine, The North and Thumbscrew, with more magazines and issues to be added at regular intervals. A good start for what could become an invaluable online resource, so check it out, as with any other FREE access site the more use it gets the more likely it is to stay around...  
8.9.03 10:42


1st SHORTFUSE of the New Season - 18th September

We kick off the new SHORTFUSE season on Thursday 18th September with a range of performers that illustrate our commitment to presenting a fusion of performance comedy, stand up poetry & music.


Leon Hawkins - sharply written songs coupled with a strong melodic drive, a singer-songwriter to watch out for.


Deborah Lampitt - actutely observed poetry performed with an honesty that cuts deep to the literary bone.


Rachael Pantechnikon - one of the best comedy character performers on the London circuit opens her handbag of emotions and offers fluff covered pastilles of insight.


Tobias Fortnight - we could describe this as off-beam, inventive, post modem cultural terrorism at its finest. But you might read it as just another marketing ploy.


Admission is £5 waged and £3 concessions, but as a special offer we are offering TWO TICKETS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE with a print out of this web entry. Four great acts, a special offer on tickets, what more do you want??! So get yourself down to:


The Camden Head, Camden Passage, Islington, London, N1. Nearest tube: Angel.


Doors open at 8.30pm, show starts at 9pm. Well, we'll see you there. But if you do require anymore information just CONTACT US. 


 
10.9.03 12:00


Channel 4 by Luke Wright


"channel" "4" by Luke Wright


reality tv bites and the public it bites back
drip fed neat their own lives by lifestyle guru hacks
pointless pop psychology passes for viewing pleasure
with the odd erect penis thrown in just for good measure
even trash has got an ethos and gameshows mirror lives
tell us something about ourselves before pulling out the knives
for live autopsy analysis of celeb culture law
but it’s so "bold" it’s so "shocking" it’s so "channel" "4"

this summer everyone will be talking abou "brits do the orient"
find out what happens when a school girl from kent
swaps her daily routine with that of a nepalese prostitute
will jenny smith find herself helpless and destitute
or will she loosen up that stiff upper lip and get on the game
answering the much asked and increasingly complex question
are english people different from foreigners or are we essentially just the same
thought provoking stuff i think you’ll agree

media types who don’t slog a nine to five
who believed the hype around dogma 95
prop up soundbite culture with their depictions of youth
and cite veron kay and june sapong as their proof
that they’re in touch with all the hip and trendy kids out there
vomiting top 100 hundreds lists as if somebody cares
with a presenter whose not afraid to swear and a soundtrack by the cure
it’s so "retro" it’s so "now" it’s so "channel" "4"

this autumn davina mccall will take to the streets of brixton at night
and find two young men to take part in an shoot til you drop gun fight
handheld camera action captures the edgy gritty inner city vibe
whilst short-lived press attention is promised to whoever survives
"street hate" which aims to glamourise poverty and excess violence
to white middle class children who don’t live in cities
and poses the pertinent question is gun crime excusable in the context of late-night youth tv
i think you’ll find the answer’s yes

poorly scripted porno soaps are here to deal with issues
but simply have the teenage boys reaching for the tissues
a group of pseudo rada hoes dressed in neavo prada clothes
will strike an eldorado pose with their newly sculpted nose
and teach the kids about drugs and aids and rape and aids and drugs and stuff
then undermine the efforts made by flashing us their bleached blonde muff
but whatever the case this blonde master race can never be a bore
it’s so "provocative" it’s so "huh like i give a fuck" it’s so "channel" "4"

this winter larry hagman and damien hirst present a new six-part documentary
about the imaginary friends of some of the uk’s biggest name celebrities
hear about the dinner parties victoria beckham has with her invisible friend lottie
or the eight hour sex sessions robbie williams has with his imaginary chum robbie
entitled simply "friend" "question mark" the show aims to make the general public
feel better about their sad narrow lives by exposing the dark twisted existences of the people they worship
and also allows pseudo interlectuals to say hmm a lot

cutting off the edges of cutting edge tv
it’s here to tell your ugly it’s here to tell your free
it’s here to tell you it doesn’t quite know what you should be today
and offer you chris evans to find another way
it’s here to over-theroise and interlectualise pop trash
it’s only really here to make itself some cash
it’s here because we want it it’s here because we’re bored
it’s so "well marketed" it’s so "us" it’s so "channel" "four"

and don’t forget that week nights at half past eleven is graham norton’s new show "graham’s about" -
the concept is similar to the sad much hated show beadle’s about but with a gay presenter
now that’s progressive tv programming

(Luke Wright is the founding member of performance poetry group Aisle16, and hass appeared at SHORTFUSE)
10.9.03 13:25


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